houses of pain d'épice.

MY MASTERY. Jessica and Andreanne built the house with me, but this wall is all me. In my narcissism, this was the only wall I took a photo of. D;

So, way back before Christmas, Mikael's billets had our whole group over for gingerbread house making! They provided the oodles of candy and icing, and certain of our group (pas moi, bien sur) went the extra mile to handmake our gingerbread! It was a fun night!


The house that Fred, Jazmin, and LA built was the biggest, and very heavy, with a very steep roof. After trying to get the house to stay together using conventional methods for what was a long, long time, Mik's billet dad had a great idea. They drilled holes in the house, and stuck toothpicks in the holes to support the structure. Awesome.


Tristan and Mik's house was the most detailed, and also very tiny. This is a christmas tree they made out of two party mints and those weird, cheap, candy-covered chocolate nuggets. In the background, you can kind of see their house, complete with tiny icicles and detailed roof.


Here's a shot of the snowman they made out of shaved-down white party mints, and real branches for arms.

And lastly, Wendy's. Taken during the fleeting moments hwere it was actually sticking together.

oh, dementia.

There's this woman at work who has 5-6 stuffed animals that she often takes with her in her walker, and she thinks that they're real animals. In fact, a lot of the toys have stains on their faces from times when she's attempted to feed them. Today, it seemed that she had found a new one. I walked up behind her to see her clutching something close to her chest.

Me: Hey, what do you have there?
Her: I would like... would like for you to take me to the front.
Me: Yeah? Why?
Her: Well... I would like to be where there are people who might want to care for this.
*looks down at whatever is hidden in her arms*
Me: Really; what is it you have?
Her: I rescued it, saved it. It needs a home.
Me: Here, let me see what you have there.
*I reach in between her arms, and pull out something soft*

Mittens.

Me: These are mittens.

Her: Go away.


I did.

makin' coffee, not love.

Sooo.... Apparently there is no end to the amount of awkward-yet-entertaining things that the residents at work can do/say.

Old Dude: Can I get a coffee?
Me: If you say please.
Old Dude: Okay.

*He looks at me expectantly, but says nothing*

Me: ...Say please.
Old Dude: I did. You just weren't listening.
Me: Then say it again.
Old Dude: Fiiinnnee. Please get me a coffee.
Me: Alright.

*I get coffee, come right back*

Old Dude: What took you so long?
Me: Dude, it took me like, two seconds.
Old Dude: You were probably making love to some guy. ...You should have been making love to me.

Me: ... I'm gonna go.

He was so nonchalant about it too.

hebergement ftw. take two.

My billets, Richard and Mary Burkholder, ROCK. They are awesome. They are super cute (that one's for you, Jordan, haha).


Us with Denver!

Richard and Mary are huge into cross-country skiing, and they took me out twice! Which is quite the test of patience, since I do more falling and getting up than actual skiing. Actually, I think what I did was go out for two rounds of intense fisticuffs with the snow, intermigled with some pitiful attempts at skiiing, but hey, it was FUN.


Attempt one. This was when I tried skate-skiing. Not so good.


Attempt two, with classic skiing. Worked only marginally better. That's Richard and Jessie the superchill dog in the background. You can see by the snow on my sleeves that the ground and I had already made out a few times.


Hahah, Mary took this without my knowledge. Bow to my intense concentration.

During billeting, there was a big night parade with lots of lights here in Vanderhoof, oddly and inexplicably called The Parade of Lights.

LA, Jordan, and I were all in the float for the Nechako Waste Reduction Initiative, since our billets were involved. We got to wear sandwichboards covered in recyclables, and hold a banner! I was feeling rather muscular that evening. My millions of crunches are starting to pay off.





Mary also taught me how to knit, which pleased me to the extent that words temporarily escape me, and even after they come running back, having seen the evils of the world, it is only so that I can type a very long sentence about not having the words.

I started off with a lovely light tan rectangle (my favourite colour is light tan. My favourite animal is poopies.), and then when Mary felt I was ready, she took me to get all the ingredients I needed for the lovely red toque I am working on now!

And so, I have become OBSESSED with knitting. While at the Burkholders', I would stay up into the wee hours knitting while watching things like BBC Pride and Prejudice, and Bridget Jones' Diary.


We went to see a UNBC basketball game, and look who was coaching the Quest team (who lost). Another of my future husbands. 12x zoom, thanks.

On the last night of billeting, the Burkholders' daughter and her girlfriend came over for dinner to celebrate the girlfriend's birthday (a little off topic, but these are the CUTEST girls ever, and their daughter brought over a bunch of knitting patterns for me to peruse). We ate like kings, and more specifically kings that have told their chef to make bread, teriyaki chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots, and a really rich chocolate cake that Richard cut REALLY big, haha. Yummmmmm.


Billeting rocks.

hebergement ftw.

The long awaited (or not) billeting posts!



The day we were set to leave for billeting, Mikael and I cleaned like mad to get it ready. Actually, all we did was vacuum for the first time that week (apologies to any housemates reading this), wash the bathrooms, and clear the fridge out a bit. It was probably the most work we did all week.

Going back to the vacuuming thing, when we were talking about what we needed to do that day, Mikael thought that vacuuming was unecessary, even though we had not done it all week (truly, we were the laziest house managers so far, hahah). When I argued this point, he countered that in the 3 years he had lived in his own place in France, he had vacuumed his room only once. This both impressed and horrified me.

That night, we all hung around in the kitchen, saying tearful goodbyes as our family dispersed, one by one. I could barely function for the tears and unelegant mucous abdicating my every orifice. I couldn't believe that I was going to be torn away from my newfound family. The pain was too much. I broke down.


I think the lighting was weird, 'cause I don't look upset.


Fred didn't want Jordan to go. In fact, she tried to hide Jordan under the sink when his billets came:


When I got to my billet house, I was even more stoked than before. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. ...With the aid of captions.


YEAAHHHHH. LOOK AT THAT SEXY QUEEN BED.


Spent some good time chilling with the Burkholders here. Lots of reading and knitting, as we were all party animals.


Stairway to awesome. Also, lots of cool books. Jane Austen, FTW.


I love windows. But not cleaning them. That sucks.




The Kitchen where all the food magic happened. Ate soooo well there.


The TV room in the attic. Spent hours there knitting while watching BBC Pride and Prejudice. Win.


JESSIIEEEEEE. Love this dog.

pre-billeting.

It was so long ago that I forgot it existed, but apparently there was life before billeting, so I'll catch you up on that first:


Mik and I were House Managers the week before the group ventured forth. I found that after a long stint of chopping veggies, it is best to sit back, relax, and build a terrarium for your pet dinosaur, complete with celery and lettuce trees.


Dress-Up As Another Group Member Night! I got to be Tristan, and that beard made for some good lulz.


Mik as me. I think he might be more feminine.


Me as Tristan and Tristan as LA. Those are some very pas smat spandex shorts.


This was the only time I've used that eyeliner in a long while.


Tree decorating at Riverside!


We went downstairs to get some fake gifts out of storage, and the storage area went on and on and on! (I hate when people wrap empty boxes for decoration. I get so pumped because I see a huge pile of cadeaux, and when they turn out to be empty I feel like life is no longer worth living)


Practising the sleeve sneeze to combat H1N1. I don't think we read the instructions right.

On to billeting!

chacarron macarron.

Enjoy.

sexual harrassment in the workplace.

I know I said I'd do billeting posts, but uploading photos takes time.

Anyway, yesterday I was sexually harrassed at work. Not by a co-worker, either; it was a 71 year old man in a wheelchair.

It started with him asking one of the nurses if she was pregnant, and her laughingly replying that she was just fat. Discomfited by this slightly awkward moment, I attempted to downplay it:

Me: Haha, oh no, if you wanna get girls, you've gotta be more a sweet-talker! Be more complimentary!
Him (in mumbling old man voice): I'm 71 years old! What do I need women for!?
Me: Oh, fine then, haha.
I start to walk away.
Him: *grabs my butt as I pass*

In my shock, I turned around and smacked him in the head. Right in front of the nurses station. I am an elder abuser.

Let's share awkward moments so I don't feel so bad.

the cake of sex.

Today, during my lunchbreak, a cake was brought in. It had been sent by the family of a guy who recently passed away, thanking the staff for all their hard work. It sat there untouched for about 15 minutes, until another nurse came in and was all: "Cake?! I am so there. Time to get fat."

She quickly cut a piece out of the corner, put it on a little disposable plate (saucer, really), and took a bite. She closed her eyes and moaned in ectasy.

"So much better than sex," she said, after a moment's pause.

While doubting that it was quite as awesome as she said it was, I was at least convinced that eating a piece would not be a complete letdown. I picked my lard self up, walked to the other side of the table, obtained said gateau, and put some in my mouth.


If that cake is better than sex, then my wedding night is going to be a gigantic letdown.



Posts about billeting to come.

What are your guilty pleasures?